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Pokemon: A Tale of Rebirth Ch.2

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Ch. 2: The Steelworker of Steam

 

On the outskirts of the city a girl in green outfit takes pictures of the city’s various landmarks.

            “I’m so lucky; I wound up in this city.” She says as she looks at the pictures she’s taken.

Suddenly a Frogadier jumps past her knocking the camera out of her hands, and she falls to the ground.

            “Gen get back here.” Jaden says chasing the Frogadier.

            “Ow, what was that?” The girl says asks as she gets back up from the ground.

            “Gen, you’ve been running around like this all day, how come you won’t calm down, were supposed to be friends.” Jaden says yelling at the Frogadier alongside his Combusken.

            “Is that your Pokémon?” The girl asks walking up to Jaden.

            “Well I guess, I caught him in this Poke’ball, but he keeps running away when he gets out.” Jaden says showing the girl the Poke’ball.

            “Maybe it hasn’t accepted you.” The girl says looking at the Poke’ball.

            “I thought the Poke’ball made Pokémon your friends?” Jaden says looking at Frogadier.

            “Typically yes, but some Pokémon are just so stubborn; these Pokémon won’t listen to their trainer until they’ve accepted their strength.” The girl says explaining things to Jaden.

            “So Gen hasn’t accepted me.” Jaden says looking at the Frogadier who’s looking at a nearby building.

            “What’s that building?” Jaden asks looking at it curiously.

            “That’s the steel works, they make most of the stuff in town here.” The girl says explaining things to Jaden.

            “It’s quite interesting, this building alongside the steamer are two of the most important buildings in town, and they were made by the same man.” The girl says explaining things to Jaden.

            “So who’s the guy who built it?” Jaden asks looking at the building when Claus drives out of the building with his Magneton and Skarmory flying around him.

            “That’s the guy, this town Gym Leader.” The girl says pointing at Claus.

Frogadier looks at the Skarmory and tries jumping towards it, seeing it Skarmory attacks Frogadier knocking it on the ground.

            “Gen!” Jaden says running towards the Frogadier.

            “Oh, it’s you again; I see that Pokémon’s still a bit unruly.” Claus says looking at the Frogadier, whose angrily looking at Skarmory who’s laughing at it.

            “So then are you ready for our battle?” Claus says asking Jaden.

            “I’ve been meaning to ask you this, what’s a Gym Leader?” Jaden asks curiously.

            “Well, that’s not an uncommon question at this point, but it still stings a bit.” Claus says stunned by Jaden’s question.

            “Okay listen here, in most regions there’s something called the Pokémon League.” Claus says explaining things to Jaden. “Here in the Aevum Region, this is no exception, even if ours is just a few year old.” Claus says till explaining.

            “So what’s the Pokémon League about?” Jaden asks excitedly.

            “In the Pokémon League there are at least eight Gym Leaders, trainers considered exceptionally strong and specialized in one Pokémon Type, if you beat eight Gym Leaders you’ll get a chance to battle the Elite Four, four trainers considered the strongest of the strong, and after them you can fight the Champion,  the strongest trainer in the region.” Claus says explaining things to an overly excited Jaden.

            “Personally speaking, I haven’t had a challenger since I started the Gym so I’ve been looking for one, and I like the look in your eyes.” Claus says walking up to Jaden “So how bout it kid, you want a Gym Battle?” Claus asks curiously.

            “Yes, I want to battle the strongest trainer around, that’s why I left home in the first place.” Jaden says excitedly.

            “Okay, come to the steamer, I’ll wait for you there.” Claus says hopping back on his bike and riding off, leaving Jaden and the girl in his dust.

 

A while later Jaden and the girl stand in front of a large building with various steel tubes coming out of it, with each of the tubes connected to another building which leads to more tubes, and so on and so forth.

            “So what’s this?” Jaden asks looking at it.

            “This is the steamer; this is the heat source for the entire town.” The girl says explaining things to Jaden. “If you’ve noticed this town has snowfall all year round, so in order to heat their housing the Gym Leader built this place to create a large amount of steam.” The girl says explaining things to Jaden.

Suddenly a large truck carrying a lot of snow and chunks of Ice passes the two into the building.

            “What’s that?” Jaden asks looking at the truck.

            “That’s how they get the water to the steamer; they take the Ice and snow and melt them to get water to boil.” The girl says explaining things.

            “You two, this is now place for a lovers stroll.” A large burly man says walking up to the pair from the building.

            “Were nor lovers, I think I should introduce myself, my names Vera, and I’m a photographer, and I was hoping to take pictures of the steamer.” Vera says pulling out her camera from her bag.

            “And my name’s Jaden and I’m hoping for a Gym Battle.” Jaden says excitedly.

             “A Gym Battle? Well that’s a first.” The guy says curiously at Jaden’s statement. “Well Claus did says that a challenger was finally coming by.”

            “That’s right, I’m the challenger, and I’m looking for a battle.” Jaden says looking seriously at the man.

            “Well then, I hope you’re ready for a battle.” The man says excited at the thought of the upcoming battle.

 

Inside the building the man leads the pair down a path in the middle of a room filled with a wide variety of machinery and steam popping out of some pipes.

            “Be careful that you don’t get to close to those steam pipes, the steams a little too hot here have to funnel it around so its temperature will lower a bit.” The man says explaining things to the duo.

As he leads the group on they find their way to a large flat steel surface with steel boulders randomly across the field.

            “So then I’ve finally got a challenger.” Claus says standing on the other end of the field.

            “Yeah, Claus I challenge you to a Gym Battle.” Jaden says jumping onto the field.

            “Okay, let me explain the rules, this will be a double battle, where we use two Pokémon at once, the first one to knock out the other pair wins the match.” Claus says explaining things to Jaden. “Do you understand?” Claus asks Jaden.

    “I understand, Axel, Gen, let’s do this.” Jaden yells out as he throws a pair of Poke’balls into the air and Combusken a Frogadier pop out.

    ‘So then those will be your two and here are mine.” Claus yells out throwing a pair of Poke’balls out and Magneton and Skarmory pop out. “Just to let you know my specialty are the cold and hard Steel Types, let’s see if you can get penetrate my defenses.” Claus says boasting.

As the pair look at each other Frogadier looks intensely at Skarmory, who’s giving it a smug look.

            “So then does everyone understand the rules?” The man asks looking at the pair and their Pokémon.  “Okay then, let the battle begin.” The man says signaling the start of battle.

            “So then challenger get’s the first strike.” Claus says signaling Jaden.

            “Okay then, Axel Flame Charge, and Gen…” Jaden says as Frogadier charges at Skarmory blasting a stream of scalding water at it, but it dodges out of the way.

Seeing this Combusken starts stomping on the ground before igniting and charging in at Magneton.

            “So then, that’s the way things will go, Magneton Lock-on to Frogadier and Skarmory Aerial Ace on Combusken.” Claus yells out as Magneton looks intensely at Frogadier while Skarmory goes charging into Combusken.

            “Axel dodge, Gen move around.” Jaden says as Combusken attempts to dodge but get’s hit by the attack, while Frogadier stands around refusing to listen.

            “Now Magneton Zap Cannon.” Claus yells out before Magneton blast a large burst of electricity out at Frogadier who attempts to dodge, but fails as the blast knocks it into the wall. “Lock-on is an attack that makes the next attack a sure hit.” Claus says explaining things to Jaden.

            “Gen are you okay?” Jaden asks looking running to Frogadier, who he notices has difficulty moving.

            “I should tell you, Zap Cannon is a move that has a one hundred percent chance of paralysis.” Claus says explaining things to Jaden. “So then, with one Pokémon nearly beaten and another over powered, just what will you do when pushed into the corner?”  Claus asks Jaden looking at him seriously.

            “I won’t give up; I won’t let my friends down.” Jaden says invigorating Combusken. “Now Axel, Brick Break.” Jaden yells out to Combusken who charges in on Magneton and karate chops it into the ground.

            “Magneton are you okay?” Claus asks Magneton who starts floating back up. “Impressive attack, if this were any other Magneton that attack would’ve done it, but now Skarmory Steel Wing.” Claus yells out to Skarmory.

Skarmory charges at Combusken trying to hit it with its wings, but Combusken manages to dodge the attack easily.

            “What was that?” Claude asks astonished by the movement. “That Combusken couldn’t do such a move before, was it that Flame Charge?” Claus asks looking at Combusken.

            “No, that Flame Charge was just a jump start for Axel’s ability Speed Boost.” Jaden says proudly to Claus.

            “So then, that Combusken’s been getting faster as the battle goes on, but that won’t do it any good now Skarmory Aerial Ace.” Claus yells out to Skarmory who charges at Combusken yet again.

Before the attack can hit Frogadier blocks it taking the attack.

            “Gen, are you okay?” Jaden says walking over to Frogadier who gets up and yells, shaking of the paralysis with pure will power.

            “That Frogadier broke the paralysis, that’s impressive, but now Magneton Lock-on to Frogadier.” Claus yells out to Magneton who looks intensely at Frogadier. “It’s about time we wrap this battle up, Zap Cannon.” Claus yells out.

Frogadier tries to dodge the attack, but is yet again unable to before Combusken steps on and takes the attack.

            “Gen, we can’t win this thing individually, so we have to work together, and if you can’t trust me then I’ll let you go later but for now work with me.” Jaden says to Frogadier who nods its head in agreement.

            “Okay now Gen Dark Pulse of Magneton and Combusken Flame Charge on Skarmory.” Jaden yells out as his Pokémon ready their attacks.

            “Okay then Magneton Flash Cannon and Skarmory Night Slash.” Claus yells out to his Pokémon as they ready their attacks.

Suddenly Frogadier launches a blast of dark energy at Magneton who unleashes a blast of energy as well ending with the two blast colliding. After igniting Combusken charges at Skarmory who charges in turn only for Combusken to dodge and charges into Magneton, who falls to the ground unconscious.

            “Magneton is unable to battle.” The burly man yells out upon the realization.

            “That was quite impressive, but Skarmory’s still going strong. Claus says pointing at Skarmory who lets out a loud cry.

            “As you said earlier let’s finish this Axel Brick Break.” Jaden yells out towards Combusken who jumps up and attempts to karate chop Skarmory who dodges out of the way.

            “You’ll have to do better than that, Skarmory Aerial Ace.” Claus yells our as Skarmory charges at Combusken.

            “Just as I planned, now Gen.” Jaden yells out before Claus notices Frogadier jumping mid air before blasting water at it causing it to fall to the ground and then burst in flames.

            “No Skarmory’s burned.” Claus says watching Skarmory.

            “So then finishing blow Axel, Flame Charge.” Jaden yells out as Combusken charges at the Skarmory knocking it out.

            “Skarmory is unable to battle; the winner is the challenger Jaden.” The large man yells out as the battle finishes.

            “All right did you two see that?” Jaden says looking at the man and the stand but see’s Vera’s disappeared.

            “Where’d she go?” Jaden asks looking for her.

            “Sorry to say, but that girly walked out in the middle of the match and disappeared somewhere almost like she was in a trance.” The man says to Jaden walking up to him.

 

A while later after the battle outside the steamer Jaden, Claus and the large man stand outside with Combusken and Frogadier standing alongside him.

            “Here you go, the Steam Badge.” Claus says holding out a medal before presenting it to Jaden.

            “What’s this?” Jaden asks Claus looking at the Badge.

            “This is a Gym Badge, after you manage to beat a Gym Leader you’ll be given one and after you’ve collected all eight you go through Victory Road and then challenge the Elite Four.” Claus says explaining things to Jaden.

            “You hear that Axel just seven more of these and we can fight some really strong opponents.” Jaden says excitedly to Combusken who looks on excitedly as well.

            “Oh yeah.” Jaden says grabbing Frogadier’s Poke’ball “Here I don’t know how to release you but maybe you could just break it or something.” Jaden says handing the Poke’ball to Frogadier, who looks intently at it.

As Jaden starts to walk off as Frogadier throws the Poke’ball at Jaden hitting him in the back of the head.

            “What was that for?” Jaden asks as he picks up the Poke’ball and looks at Frogadier.

            “I think it wants to go with you.” Claus says looking at the Frogadier.

            “Is that true Gen?” Jaden asks Frogadier who looks on and nods its head in acceptance. “Gen, I’ll prove my worth as your trainer I promise.” Jaden says as him and Combusken hug Frogadier.

            “Here, this is a map of the Aevum Region, it’s marked with towns that haves Gym’s in them.” Claus says handing Jaden a map. “If I were you I’d head to Visbillis City, it’s kind of a hike but it’s the closest Gym to here.” Claus says pointing to a point on the map.

 

As Jaden walks away alongside his Pokémon Claus and the large man look on.

            “Aren’t you happy that your first challenger was a strong one like that kid?” The man asks Claus.

            “Yeah, It was a fun battle, I haven’t had fun like that since I spared with Celes, but I think it’s about time I contacted master about this and yesterday.” Claus says happily before walking inside.

 

Meanwhile Celes watches from a tall building looking down at the steamer.

            “It’s good that brother had a nice battle, I wish I could’ve seen it, but I can’t afford for him to drag me back now.” Celes says to herself while watching.

Suddenly a loud noise is heard from her pocket as she pulls out a Poke’gear.

            “Hello Celly.” The voice on the other end says annoying Celes.

            “Praline, how many times have I told you not to call me that.” Celes says annoyed.

            “Sorry Celly, but I have a message for you the S.S. Distare has returned and the boss wants you to move to Okeanos City to intercept it.” The voice on the phone says to Celes.

            “Okeanos city, that’s quite a journey, but I’ll use the Gnome Tunnels that’ll make it easier.” Celes says to the voice explaining herself.

            “I don’t care how you do it just do it.” The voice says as the phone hangs up.

            “Our communications needs an HR person doesn’t it?” Celes says putting the Poke’gear away and looks to the west.

Gym battle
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J-J-Knight's avatar
I apologize for the massive gap in between reading these; I've been swamped with work and my own writing so I haven't had the time to read. 

Right from the start, I can see numerous grammatical errors. I have not read any of the future chapters, as I don't want to spoil myself, so I can assume that the writing improves. I'd suggest going back to edit some of these, as it did make me stop and try to decipher what was being said, and by who. The punctuation is off and makes sentences awkward. The story is still good, but the flow of the story is thrown off bound. It's dialogue heavy and you have some odd breaks between dialogue. 

One thing I noticed right away was you using "Pokémon", then use "Poke’ball". Why not use "PokéBall" (or Poké Ball as I like to use)?

I do like Jaden and Gen the Frogadier relationship. It can be overdone to have a character and a Pokémon not listen to them, but this doesn't feel forced. The battle was nice, but I wish it wasn't so...lacking? I'm not sure what word I should use here. It doesn't paint much of an image. All I get in my head is like a battle on the 3DS. Can't really imagine much of the setting with it being bare. 

I feel that this is a bit harsh, but it is your second chapter. With so many chapters, I know that it will improve and I can't wait to continue on.